Vulnerability + Business

I always believed that being successful in business meant surviving a shouty man with a seemingly sweet name leaning over his desk to tell you “you’re hired” having knocked out the opposition one-by-one who had made minor slip ups and embarrassed themselves. I thought it meant being ruthless, cut-throat, standing on others to get to the top. I pictured vicious communications and stiletto shoes and aggressive colleagues who could never quite be trusted.

You can’t really blame me for never dreaming I’d be a business owner.

The journey I’ve taken over the last few years has left me more resilient, more stubborn and more passionate. But most of all, it’s left me more soft. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way; I mean my heart is softer now than it ever used to be.

So one of my biggest fears whilst contemplating starting up my own business is that I wouldn’t be able to tolerate the painful, confidence-shattering battle field I had built it up to be.

But it turns out, that isn’t what being in business has to look like.

(Or probably what most business looks like at all.)

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been bloomin’ hard work. It’s taken dedication and a confidence that I wasn’t entirely sure existed in me until I leant on it and discovered it did. There hasn’t been somebody holding my hand to protect me all the way. But there’s been cheerleaders and helpful advice and room to learn and fun.

I write this because I want others to know:

Your vulnerabilities don’t need to be squashed down, even in running a business.

You don’t have to fit a perfect mould to be successful.

It’s okay to feel wobbly.

Perhaps some will believe that showing vulnerability is detrimental, even unprofessional. I can see that. I know there’s appropriate places and spaces to share but I don’t believe in appearing to operate like a robot at the cost of my own humanity.

I really believe there needs to be more visible vulnerability in society or we’re going to forget that it’s okay to not be okay. I’m starting by putting a stake in the ground as I continue running and growing Admin by Sarah:

I will keep pursuing humanity in the way the business runs, in the way I am and in the way I work.

I will work on being okay with wobbliness.

This means operating from that softer place. Being kind. Not seeing clients as walking money-pots. Showing gratitude even when it isn’t required. Being real about why I need to take a break. Explaining I might work slower than others, but I’m thorough and dedicated. Investing in relationships. Switching off on days off. Being interested in my clients because they’re my fellow humans. Making the coffee well.

Whatever it means, I hope to see more vulnerability in business. Because without imperfection and wobbliness, we stop being human — and then why does any of it matter at all?